The One With the Stranded Stranger

My family had received a Christmas gift of $100 from an out-of-town pastor's wife, who was friends with my parents, and knew what it was like to be scraping by at Christmastime. The $100 was on the fridge, and no decision had yet been made on how it would be spent, but it was going to be something that the whole family could enjoy.

I remember this happening on Christmas morning, after opening presents, and before we had dinner, because Mom was working on food in the kitchen when Dad got the phone call. [My parents are welcome to correct any details, but I will tell you the version from my Christmas memories.]

At the time, our home phone was also the church phone line. We all answered it as, "Hosanna Calvary Chapel", and it was a normal thing for Dad to get important phone calls, during which we should be quiet, and if he wanted to speak privately, he would walk down the basement stairs with the long phone cord from near the back door. That Christmas morning, he got a call from a pastor in Maine, who told him that there was a man stranded in Illinois, not far outside of St. Louis, trying to get home to Maine, and needed money for gas and food. Would Dad be willing to give him money, and this pastor that Dad had never met would send him a check?

We had $100 on the fridge.

Dad got off the phone and called all of us together and told us the situation of the stranger who was stranded and trying to get home. He said that this $100 belonged to our whole family, and all of us had to make a decision together. He could take the man the money, and we would probably get it back in a few weeks, but there was the chance that we might not. What did we want to do?

We all quickly agreed that Dad should take the money to help the man. Mom made up a bunch of sandwiches, and Dad left to go help this stranger. Shortly afterwards, we were reimbursed the money, and I have no idea what it was spent on. But I do remember that as children, we were included in the decision, and given the opportunity to choose to make a sacrifice to help someone. My dad could have made the decision himself. He would have also not taken the money if we had not decided to help. My parents taught us a wonderful lesson about giving that day, which also embraces the very spirit of Christmas and everything that God has done for us, to sacrifice something of great worth, to save someone else.

Oh... but the story doesn't stop with my childhood memories...

Because years and years later, my dad was on a trip in Israel. The whole tour group was sitting around a table, and this story was being told. My dad told his side, including how blessed he was that his family wanted to minister. Then the pastor from Maine told his side, about what was happening in the stranded man's life, how he made it home, and how he's serving the Lord in the church. Then my Dad told the pastor from Maine that the only reason my family was able to help the stranded man was because of the $100 we had been given from the pastor's wife,... who was also sitting at their table.

The One Where We Got the Nintendo

It was the Christmas we went to Ohio. My parents drove through the night, and put Baby Eileen's car seat in the front seat between them, so that Patrick and I could sleep in the back. One of us slept on the bench seat, one of us on the floor with pillows stuffed around that hump in the middle of the car. I remember stopping at a rest stop and putting on our coats to go use the bathroom and it was that bitter winter cold that is only found in Ohio. It was on this trip that we first heard the song, "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer", and Patrick and I laughed so hard! It was the funniest song we had ever heard!
 
For weeks leading up to the trip, my parents told Patrick and I that they had bought us one big gift to share. They reiterated this many times, making sure that we would not be disappointed over opening one shared gift. We were excited, and over and over again said that we would not be disappointed, that we wanted the big shared present. Keep in mind that my parents were poor. We were not allowed to ask for things at the grocery store, where the cheapest of everything was bought. Back then, squeeze bottles of ketchup were new, so my mom would buy ketchup sold in the cheaper glass bottle and pour it into the same reused squeeze bottle at home. (They don't love me telling that, but rest assured that they can afford squeeze bottle ketchup now.) But for you to realize how big our shared present was, you have to realize that they couldn't afford the extra 10 cents for squeeze bottle ketchup.

We couldn't imagine what our big shared present would be, but I guessed it would be a large item. By the time Mom and Dad were telling us about the Most Amazing Shared Present, we had long since forgotten the garage sale in the basement of the duplex next door, where our neighbor had been selling a Nintendo for $50, half the retail price. I remember that Patrick and I pointed out the bargain to my parents. Note that we did not *ask* for the Nintendo, because we were not supposed to ask for things. Instead we used our skills of giving hints, such as, "Look at this Nintendo", subtly admire it, keep walking. We knew there was no way that they were going to get us a Nintendo, we weren't crazy.

So there we were in Ohio, all the presents having been opened, and my parents asked if we were ready to open The Shared Present. It seems like they even went to get it out of a closet. Then they presented us with a teeny tiny box, about the size of a business card, wrapped. We were so confused, because how could our shared present be in such a small box? When we opened it, we found a picture of a Nintendo, clipped from an ad. We were so excited! I don't remember anything of the drive home, perhaps because we were looking forward to playing Super Mario Bros. I do remember that as soon as we walked in the door, Dad immediately set it up for us, even though it was past our bedtime.

The Nintendo itself was a fantastic present, as well as the hype that led up to it. But what I love best about this Christmas memory was how much it cost my parents: a fortune.

My Favorite Holiday

My favorite holiday is coming... and it's not Christmas.

Let me describe it for you.

Imagine your most anticipated holiday, complete with childlike anticipation, hoping it will come soon, and imagining what surprises it may hold!

Now add balloons... and presents... and bouquets of flowers... and family gathered together to celebrate, knowing that you'll tell stories of each of these individual holidays for years to come. There are no unpleasant aspects, because other people have done all the work and paid for everything, and you've been given the best event responsibilities, like relaxing and getting everyone psyched up. It's extra exciting because this holiday has no set date and no set frequency. It does not always happen every year. Sometimes the calendar gets marked with the exact day months in advance, and sometimes the holiday is not announced until the day of the celebration. Imagine going to bed every night, feeling like a kid on Christmas Eve, hoping you will wake up to someone telling you that it's the holiday, so that you can call your job and tell them you aren't coming today, or tomorrow, or maybe even the next day. Every celebration must be savored as if it were the very last holiday of its kind, because this holiday will not last forever, there are a limited number of celebrations, and you may not know that you've celebrated it for the last time until many years later.

I have celebrated my favorite holiday twelve times,... and it's been almost three years since the last celebration. Perhaps you will understand why I have zero Christmas spirit when I tell you this...

My favorite holiday will occur TWICE in the next few months.

Aunt Day, late-January 2016, courtesy of Patrick and Tanya.

Aunt Day, mid-March 2016, courtesy of Eileen and Stephen. 

Thanks also to past hosts of Aunt Day, Becky and Mark, Tina and Scott, as well as others who have made my favorite holiday possible, Carol and Dave, Anne and JB.

An Appendix and a Clogged Drain

Written by Joel, sent out on our church prayer chain today:

"First off, my brother in law Mark is out of the hospital, appendix taken out successfully, and is at home resting now.  Continue to lift him up that he will be back to 100 percent ASAP.

"Second, Dave encouraged us this past Sunday to pray for the [church] body every time we saw a prayer request come through. This is a small thing, but in a huge way I credit everyone's intercession as the reason. This morning Jean told me that our tub drain was all clogged and not draining. This is not a big deal at all, just meant I would need to stop by and get some Drano on my way home from work tonight. I was at work for about 5 minutes when our maintenance guy looked through a tunnel window at the carwash and said, "What is that doing in there?" I walked over and saw a really weird plastic device stuck up high above one of the dividers in our carwash. He said, "That is a special tool for unclogging drains, go get rid of it." To me, I was staring at God's provision for our drain, not a huge deal really, but I knew immediately that God was answering everyone's prayers for my brother in law as well! If you need an appendix out, God will provide skilled hands; if you need a drain unclogged, He has you covered too."

"And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." -- Phil. 4:19

Best Cruise Ever

You might read about our vacation and think, "Weirdos."

Who takes their parents on vacation? Who has a good marriage *and* parents with good marriages? Who has two sets of parents who enjoy being in the company of each other?

We do!

Our first cruise celebrated our 10th anniversary in 2011. We loved the experience, the friends we made, the places we went, everything! When we went on a second cruise in 2012, we knew we wanted to bring our parents with us. We discussed it with them, making sure that those prone to motion-sickness were on board. (Pun intended.) Everyone wanted to go and we began to make plans. Things fell into place when we found out that we didn't owe taxes this year, which freed up one of the quarterly bonuses that Joel receives from work. We did the math, and announced to our parents that we were taking them on an all-expenses-paid trip to Mexico. We told them we love them, we appreciate all they've done for us over the years, and we've had so much fun cruising that we wanted to share it with them also. Along the lines of 'what do you buy for the person who has everything', we figured that our siblings already have them covered for grandchildren, so we'd get them a cruise.

Last week, the wait was finally over. We left after church on Sunday, which was also Mom's birthday. Our first stop was Cracker Barrel, where Joel advised everyone to start 'stretching out their stomachs'. We enjoyed the ride south, adding new states for some of our parents.

I had gotten a really cheap rate for our first night's stay at Days Inn in McComb, MS. But when we attempted to check in, around midnight, they had lost our paid reservation, and the printed out email with a confirmation number stumped the apathetic front desk person. No apology was offered, and although rooms were available, it seemed too difficult for her to rent them to us. After far too long of standing in the smoke-infested lobby, we got back in the rented mini-van. On the same exit, we tried Comfort Inn, with a locked front door and no one to buzz us in, and Howard Johnson, with a nice lobby, but no attendant. Feeling like we were in Bethlehem during a census, we drove on down the road until we hit Louisiana. Turns out that God wanted us to stay at the ah-may-zing Holiday Inn Express in Amite City. At 1:00am, we stepped up to the door, and the most friendly hotel representative I've ever met buzzed us into the lobby. Debra was wonderfully cheerful and accommodating. She gave us all three rooms at the veteran rate that Dad requested, which was almost $50 less than the advertised rate on the internet. We all slept wonderfully, in beautiful rooms!

Monday afternoon, after a scenic drive around the streets of New Orleans that we've so often seen on episodes of "Cops" and after a trip to Wal-mart, we boarded the Carnival Elation. We saw our rooms on the Empress deck (107, 111, 117). We ate at the buffet. We walked around the ship. We sat on the deck as the ship departed down the Mississippi River. When our suitcases were delivered to our rooms, we wondered why it was taking them so long to deliver our garment bags. Joel came back to the room for nap time, and I mentioned that our garment bag and Dad's garment bag hadn't been delivered yet. He realized right away that we had never taken them out of the Dodge Grand Caravan's 'stow-and-go' beneath the seats. The garment bags weren't missing, they were in the rental van, in the parking garage. When I saw Dad, he had also realized where they were. We had each been worried about each other, but it turned out that everyone had plenty of clothes for dinner, but it'd be on the casual side, since no one could 'suit up'. We had a private table for dinners in the Inspiration Dining Room, so everyone enjoyed being casual, and Joel didn't wear a tie on elegant night.

On our first cruise, we found it difficult to know if we were walking towards the front or back of the ship, and got turned around several times. I shouldn't have been surprised when Dad was instantly oriented to the ship, knowing where everything was, and which way to take. Navy knowledge of port and starboard must be easily translated from destroyers to cruise ships. 

Tuesday morning, our first Sea Day, my parents were camped out on the starboard side of the ship, which was shady as we sailed south. They had secured the perfect location for our morning relaxation: shade, breeze, near food, overlooking the water. We all sat there for the first half of the day, admiring the royal blue water and enjoying the cool breeze.

Lobster Night was a hit. Our waiter, Edwin "Eddie" from the Philippines, was fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. We enjoyed his serving at dinner and his talented dance moves. On the much anticipated Lobster Night, Joel and I felt like parents taking their children to Disneyland, in that we don't care to eat lobster, but we're happy to see others enjoying it. Dad, Mom, and JB all got lobster tails. Dad skipped the starters, so he could save room for lobster, and ordered two plates, which also came with shrimp and mashed potatoes. Eddie offered to bring more lobster before anyone could ask for additional helpings. I think that JB and Mom each managed two lobster tails. Dad set a new personal record by eating three lobster tails in one sitting. He couldn't even finish his shrimp on the final plate. When Patrick heard the story, he had assumed that it had been over the course of a week that Dad had eaten three lobsters, and was surprised when I clarified that, no, it was in one sitting! It was no surprise that JB tried everything weird and unusual, which he claimed wasn't that weird and unusual, but his choices were listed under the "didja ever..." section of the menu, and included things like frog legs that still looked like frog legs, sushi, alligator bites, escargot (Joel says, "escar-nasty"), and more. JB said, "If you always try everything, you never know what will be your next favorite food." My favorite food is Warm Chocolate Melting Cake. Everyone thought I was exaggerating when I said I was going to get it every night, but I proved them wrong! We all laughed about Anne's cold soups, which were each brought with a very small portion of flavorful something in the middle of a bowl, and then the waiter would return with the soup to pour around the asparagus, or strawberry, whatever it was. It was especially funny on the first night, when some of us ordered two starters, and she was presented with a large bowl, with barely one bite of food on it, and Eddie didn't return for some minutes, leaving us all wondering about the tiny portion.

Wednesday was our first stop: Progreso, Mexico. We got off the ship, rode the bus in from the five-mile-long pier, and booked our excursion to a private beach through Auto Progreso. (While waiting to depart, no one would pose with an iguana on their shoulder, no matter how much I begged.) Our tour guide, Marianna, made the 25-minute bus ride seem short, by telling us about the area and the history of the Yucatan Peninsula. I found it most interesting that "Yucatan" means "I don't know", because when the Spaniards asked the Mayans what the name of their land was, the Mayans didn't understand their question, and answered, "I don't know." The private beach was so much more enjoyable than the public beach that Joel and I had visited the year before, where people were selling things up and down the beach the entire day. The private beach was clean and pretty and relaxing. The water was shallow for a long ways out. Our only complaint was the music that was playing when we arrived. It wasn't our style of music, which we might have overlooked, except that it was very R-rated. Apparently, if Spanish is your first language, English curse words and explicit language aren't offensive. Joel complained (after I complained, with no results) and they changed it to Spanish. The lyrics may have been just as bad, but now the fluency was reversed, and I was the one who wouldn't know the difference. Later, a Mariachi band came, and walked around singing "Happy Birthday" for people. We'll never know if they could play or sing anything else, because they only did many rounds of "Happy Birthday". Anne and Joel got massages on the beach (only $40 for two people, supposed to be 30 minutes, but lasted an hour). The excursion was all-inclusive, with food and drinks. We enjoyed sodas, but people riding back on our same bus had enjoyed lots of alcohol, which made for an annoying bus ride back to the ship. Marianna was amazing, joining the party of drunks in the back of the bus and somehow calming them down.

Thursday was our second stop: Cozumel, Mexico. We went to Joel and my favorite place, Chankanaab State Park, where the Caribbean Sea gets deep right away, super salty, and has more fish than JB and Joel can see in one day. They barely came out of the water all day, enjoying the fish and taking photos and videos with JB's new underwater camera. I had brought JB contact lenses to wear for the day, and it was the first time he'd been able to see underwater! He and Joel could have stayed there for a week and not been satisfied that they'd seen enough fish... we were only there about five hours. Mom liked the water, but wearing a life jacket makes you bob more with the waves, so swimming in the Caribbean Sea gave her more motion sickness than being on the ship. 

We had only one night on board that was rocky. We could feel the ship swaying at dinner. The weather was windy and we were sailing at 42 knots, rather than an easy-going 12-15. After dinner, both JB and Mom were feeling queasy, and we all decided not to go see the magician or the comedy show, but instead go to bed early. JB, Mom, and Dad all ended up wearing wrist bands for motion sickness and taking Dramamine, but everyone fared well overall, with no puking, thank God.

Usually, on our returning Sea Day, Joel and I feel let down, disappointed that our cruise is already over, and wondering how soon we can do it again. This time, we woke up on Friday, feeling like the week was finally complete. We were able to pack enough enjoyment and relaxing into our 5-day cruise. Our dream of taking our parents was a reality at last! We spent our last day lazily eating more food, playing cards near where the food is served (Shanghai, and I won), taking final naps, and seeing the comedian who told a joke that JB had already told us the day before. Even the drive home seemed to go quicker with good company. 

Our final hurrah was Saturday night dinner at Lambert's restaurant (home of the throwed rolls), in Miner, Missouri. We had memorized the exit number as we drove south, and talked about stopping on the way home. Even though everyone had followed Joel's advice thoroughly, arriving at Lambert's with our stomachs ready, we still weren't able to finish our dinners there. They threw rolls, they walked by dishing out fried potatoes, fried okra, beans, macaroni and tomatoes, apple butter for the throwed rolls, and cracking jokes along the aisles. Anne drank a bucket of tea. The food was delicious and the staff was entertaining and we only wished that we lived closer to a Lambert's and that it wasn't signaling the end of our trip. 

Though I can't tell it the same, Mom and Dad said that JB ended the trip perfectly with just the right joke, told as we drove down our street... that he went on a business trip, and was getting ready for the evening. He put on his tie, and heard a voice say, "Nice tie." He looked around and didn't see anyone, but was kinda creeped out. Next, he was combing his hair, and heard, "Nice haircut." Now he was getting really creeped out. Finally, as he was putting on his jacket, he heard, "Nice suit." It was too much, and he called down to the front desk, and told them everything. They assured him that everything was fine, and that was just the complimentary mint on his pillow.

Even though Anne insisted upon thanking us at every turn (she can't help it, she even hugged me and thanked me in the Cracker Barrel bathroom), we have even more to be thankful for. We are so blessed to have such great parents, who we count as our closest friends, who get along with each other, who went on this adventure with us, who we love so much. 

It was the best week ever.

Summer Olympic Goals

Joel and I watched the 2008 Olympics as avid Phelps Phans, cheering on the Americans in swimming and gymnastics, but paying relatively little attention to the running track, except for Usain Bolt. We both had good jobs, but did not derive much satisfaction from them. We were sending a hefty monthly check to our credit consolidation company. And while everyone else on the planet was pregnant, we had not yet shared our adoption plans with our families. 

We vowed that when the next Summer Olympics came around, in the very distant future of 2012, we would either be parents or debt free. Both these aspirations seemed highly unlikely, but we set the goal nonetheless. How would we save money for adoption while dealing with our massive debt? I wish I had noted the dollar amount we owed in July 2008, a mere four years after we had begun accumulating it. I estimate we owed somewhere in the neighborhood of $20,000. During this time, I had added up all the interest we paid on everything (including our house), and found that three out of four weeks, I went to work to pay interest. And why did paying off debt even matter if we had no toddlers with whom to share our lives?

The very distance future of the Summer Olympics 2012 dawns on a different couple. Same people, but much changed over the past four years. We are still Phelps Phans, but enjoy watching Ryan Lochte just as much. Gymnastics will always be our favorite Olympic event, transforming us into pros, who can expertly critic holds and landings and vaults. Usain Bolt is only one of many runners, all of whom have times and feats that wow us even more, in light of our healthier lives. Joel now runs several times a week, entering many races, and hopes to be part of the top ten for the Labor Day Run. I suggested a stair climb in March, a 5k on the morning of July 4th, and go to the gym regularly. My clothing tags don't list my dream numbers. The scale doesn't reflect my hard work. I've quit Weight Watchers. But I eat healthier in order to feel better. I surprise myself with the strength I've gained since the beginning of the year. And I'm not out of breath when I climb three flights of stairs. 

Our jobs have morphed. Joel went from Manager to Senior Manager to General Manager, running Waterway's Westport location as of this past April. I changed jobs twice in the last year, leaving Overland Optical just before becoming a certified optician (that's right, I can add "ABOC" after my name). I spent six months at a poorly run company, owned by an uncaring doctor, and managed by a petty control-freak. Now I come home stress-free and enjoy a well-rounded job of helping people choose eyeglasses, running tests for the doctor, tagging frames, submitting insurance, compiling paperwork, and discussing People magazine with my two coworkers. The three of us make up the "Sappington" division of Eye Care Associates of St. Louis.

Joel has a large base of computer customers. I'm convinced that some of them ask him to come over for the smallest things, just so they can spend time chatting with him. I have the privilege of leading the children's ministry at church. I'm so blessed to hear them recite their memory verses from the previous week. Joel leads worship once a month, and fills in teaching as necessary. I do important things like make copies of the church bulletin. Occasionally, our garage might catch on fire, or an exciting hail storm come total both our cars. But unless AAA is cutting us a check that week, our lives are happily ever routine.

If everyone on the planet is still pregnant, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I don't notice, unless they are producing another lovely niece or nephew for me to love. In a few weeks, we are celebrating our 11th Anniversary by visiting the 11th person who will call us aunt and uncle. We will be aunt and uncle to 12 people by next year, continuing the tradition of having a niece or nephew every calendar year since 2004. (Christmas 2013 will prove whether or not they are "cheaper by the dozen".) Two years ago, I read a book about living childfree (versus the rather negative outlook of "childless"), which included the beautiful line, "All children deserve a childfree aunt or uncle." I love doing special things with our nieces and nephews. I love talking to them, seeing their accomplishments, and spending time with them! We still have vague plans to adopt... someday. We have not started any processes, filled out any papers, or made any decisions. We have a clean slate before us, and though we are fairly sure that adoption is in our future, we don't know the timing or the plans that the Lord has for us. We're enjoying our happy marriage and family of two, including the occasional fight over who will turn off the light at bedtime. We did, however, cave in and get a plant. It's an adopted plant from my work, and we've kept it alive since December. Now whenever anyone follows the question "Do you have any children?" with "Do you have any pets?", we are able to proudly tell them that we have a plant, therefore putting to rest their fears that we are villainously uncaring or grossly incapable of taking care of a living thing. We have a living plant and we remember to water it. We also go to the movies on the spur of the moment (when we're lucky enough to find a plant-sitter), take quiet road trips (animated cartoons keep our plant quiet in the backseat), and rely on alarm clocks to wake us up (so that we can go water the plant). Yes, we know what we're missing out on. Our timeline is different than the stereotypical American family, but our lives are just as meaningful.

On August 4, 2001, when we stepped down off the stage of Calvary Chapel, as husband and wife, the song lyrics that played were, "I don't know what the future holds. It ain't clear where we go from here. One thing is true, God is in control. He is the keeper of my soul." The Lord doesn't give us movie-trailer type previews of coming years. We trust Him and He leads us and directs us to the path of His choosing. He has chosen such a perfect path for us, better than any we would have chosen for ourselves. We look forward to seeing where we go from here. It could be missions work. It could be parenting. It could be continuing to be a witness at our jobs. It could be full- or part-time ministry. It could be joining a circus as rodeo clowns. It's not up to us. It's up to Him. But there's nothing holding us back...

... because other than our car and our house, we are debt free. I set up the final payments through our online banking. Guess which day they go through to our creditors? July 27, 2012...

... the first day of the 2012 Summer Olympics.

 

Healthy Living

Joel and I will both turn 30 this year. Seems time to get our act together. We have a plan in place to pay off all of our debt (except our house) by the end of this year. Getting to a good financial place is much like getting to a good physical place... you gotta cut back, choose wisely, and pay for past mistakes.

We joined Weight Watchers the beginning of February. When I say "we", I mean that we both went to a meeting together, to hear the introduction. Joel has continued to follow the plan on his own, while I have continued going to the meeting. Several people from church had been talking about Weight Watchers. I've done it years ago with my family, so I know it's the tried-and-true thing that works. But what really made my decision is seeing someone I hadn't seen in two years, who had since lost 80 lbs with Weight Watchers. I was aware that she changed her lifestyle, but I hadn't yet seen her. When I did run into her, I was completely impressed. She looked like a different person! I asked her what her secret was, and she told me that she goes to the meetings every week, because it's a continuous recovery, like being an alcoholic. Seeing her spurred me on. I decided that I wanted to be that person who is barely recognizable to people they rarely see.

For the first time in years, we have only healthy food in the house. No chips. No candy. No cookies. Only one emergency frozen pizza.

It's so strange to hear Joel talking about "Points". And at the same time, it's so great, because when he makes dinner, he chooses healthy options, and lets me know how many Points our dinner is worth.

We are both making good choices, and working together to pay off the debt we are in to our bodies. Joel has about 10 lbs more to pay off, and I have another 50 lbs. We're on our way. It's the same strategies to paying off debt... if I 'charge' more things (McDonald's, candy bars, etc), it's just that much longer til I can dig my way out.

"Nothing tastes so good as being thin feels."