They never came over quick enough. We'd pick up the phone and dial the number that I still have memorized, and ask them how soon they were going to get there. Patrick was probably in charge of watching out the window. Eventually they'd come over, bearing gifts and cream pies.
The first Christmas that I remember was maybe the first one in the house where my parents still live. I remember the black trash bags that kept coming up the front steps, like it was a moving day. I remember my mom telling my grandma and grandpa, "This is way too much." I thought it was a fine amount, though the only presents I remember from that year are slippers and a stuffed sheep wearing roller skates.
Sometimes our Christmas gifts included items that went along with whatever movie was opening that season, like the year we got pajamas and stuffed animals from "All Dogs Go to Heaven". We got to see ALL the movies that came out at the holidays, because after we'd opened presents, and after we'd eaten mid-day dinner, Aunt Sandy would take Patrick and me (and Eileen when she was old enough) to the movies while my parents took naps. I don't remember how old we were when we started going to the movies, but we went every Thanksgiving and every Christmas, and other times through the year too. Anytime we went to the movies with Aunt Sandy, she would also buy us sodas and candy.
Any trip with Aunt Sandy was an all-expenses-paid, whatever-you-want kind of deal. Let me illustrate what I'm talking about, because it wasn't limited to movie concessions. One time she took us to Tiemeyer Pool in the summer. When Aunt Sandy asked us how long Mom let us stay, which was an hour, we estimated high when answering, so as to leave room for negotiation: "Three hours." We stayed FOUR hours with Aunt Sandy... and she bought us plenty of snacks from the snack bar, obviously. My cousin Robin is gonna read this and not recognize her mom from these stories, but this will help her understand why she may not get all the things she wants. It's because twenty years ago, Aunt Sandy already spent all her money on us!
One time, when David was little, he wanted something and Patrick and Tanya told him it was too expensive. Minutes later, my dad bought it for him, and David told his parents that Grandpa has "expensive money" (David coined many lasting Fitzgerald phrases). But back in the 80's and 90's, when there were things my parents couldn't afford, it was Grandma and Aunt Sandy who had the expensive money. It didn't matter if it was the purple Coleman sleeping bag or the papasan chair that I'd always dreamed of having or the expensive Naturalizer boots, as long as they knew that we would appreciate something, they bought it for us. I remember Aunt Sandy taking me to Northwest Plaza to try on the boots, saying she would buy them for me as long as I really liked them and was going to wear them. I wore them until they had no tread left.
Shopping hasn't been the same since going with Aunt Sandy, Grandma, and Aunt Edie. I remember many grocery store trips, K-mart trips, and Wal-mart trips. Wal-mart has the most stories. Shopping was an event for Grandma. Step one: Put her cane in the cart. Step two: Walk slowly through the store and put things into her cart. Step three: Sit with Aunt Edie in the snack bar and evaluate everything in the cart. Step four: Put back half the stuff, not where it goes, not given to the cashier, just shove it anywhere. Grandma always took extra bags from Shop N Save when checking out, as in stacks of brand new plastic bags, and saved them in her closet. Keep in mind that I have no memories of Grandma using a single one of these bags.
The grocery bag closet was in a room that adjoined the living room, also known as the bedroom that was built for my dad when baby Sandy was born. One time, when Grandma was babysitting us, one of the cats pushed the door open from that room, which in turn pushed the front door closed. Grandma got up to re-open the front door, saying something Grandma-ish like, "Durn cat." We were very creative at Grandma's house, so for the next hour or so, Patrick occupied himself by sneaking through the kitchen into that bedroom, and pushing the door open, so that Grandma kept getting up and kept blaming the cat.
Grandma's slang words were also a highlight of our card games. Mom and Dad and I played Shanghai (a version of rummy) with Grandma and Aunt Sandy on a regular basis after family dinners and on holidays. Grandma would say things like "durn" and "horse patootie" when she wasn't having luck with the cards.
Another Grandma story happened when she was babysitting at our house. When Eileen was born, both Grandma and Aunt Sandy would come over to babysit us, but at the time, it was just me and Patrick home, and Grandma was watching evening television. We were playing in the basement, and decided to have some fun. [I am already laughing out loud as I write this.] Patrick and I found black clothes for him to wear, including a black stocking cap. Then we used dark green eye shadow to darken his face. Then we went upstairs as slowly and quietly as we could. Patrick inched his way across the kitchen floor until he came out the doorway into the living room, right behind the recliner where Grandma was sitting. On my cue, he darted out from behind the chair, right in front of Grandma, right in front of the TV, running as fast as he could to the other side of the room. In retrospect, it's clearly a terrible idea to scare an old person, but we were too young to consider things like that. Grandma definitely didn't see it coming, and yelled a whole lot of not-made-up bad words, and threw in some "durn kids".
There are two stories that make me laugh out loud every single time. You just read one of them. Here's the other: When Mom got home from grocery shopping, we were in charge of carrying in all the groceries, and putting away whatever things we could. One time, before any of the cans got put away, Patrick and I took the paper labels off all the tuna cans, and wrote "CAT FOOD" on them with a marker. Important fact: We had a cat. Mom caught us right after we did it, so she knew that the cans without labels were tuna and only tuna. All the cat food cans still had cat food labels. Soon afterwards, she was making tuna casserole for dinner, and my dad saw her opening cans labeled "CAT FOOD". After he was done freaking out and asking, "What are you doing?!", we were instructed to never again remove labels.
Grandma and Aunt Sandy both had cats, wore cat sweatshirts, had cat earrings and cat quilts, and liked all things with cats. The first Christmas shopping I did was when Patrick and I bought Christmas presents with our own money from the nearby 88 Cents Store. Grandma and Aunt Sandy got cat items, whereas Aunt Edie was a bird person.
Eventually, Uncle Steve came into the picture, and we had to share Aunt Sandy. When they went on their honeymoon, Aunt Sandy let me borrow her convertible for the week, as a surprise. After the wedding reception, she tossed me the keys and said I could drive it all week. BEST. WEEK. EVER.
Time would fail me to tell you all of the adventures we had with Aunt Sandy back in the day or during the years when we'd go over to her house for Christmas Eve pie, but I will tell you that many presents from her are still in existence and used on a regular basis, including the papasan chair. But the most treasured of all presents, the most used, the sometimes re-gifted, the well-traveled, the beloved of all time... is Alf.
The enjoyment of Alf only increases as the years go on. There were a few years where Patrick and I went back and forth wrapping up Alf and giving him to each other as a Christmas present. I think Patrick started it. The recipient of the gift would think, "Ooh, whatever could be in this large present?...[unwraps]... Ha ha ha! It's Alf! You got me again!" I considered sending Alf to Patrick when he was at Bible College, but rather than send a stuffed doll to a house full of sweaty boys, I took photos of Alf doing things around the house, a whole roll of film, and sent Patrick the photos. Soon after, we all went out there for Patrick's graduation and wedding. It was then that I discovered that Build-A-Bear clothes fit Alf. So Alf came to California wearing a Hawaiian shirt, then he came to the graduation wearing a cap and gown, and he came to the wedding wearing a tuxedo. He was included in one of the photos with all the groomsmen. Alf also has a Batman costume. There are plenty of good stories about Alf... and when I mention Alf, I do not think of the television show, or the fact that these dolls were mass produced, I think of the one individual doll that belongs to our family, the one true Alf.
Everything that Alf embodies, memories and family and love and presents and laughter... are also true of the one who bought him in the first place. Aunt Sandy gave us great presents, and took us on adventures, and spent lots of time with us. She is my aunt role model. I want my nieces and nephews to have adventures and memories and thoughtful gifts and know that I care about their lives and their concerns and their interests the same way that Aunt Sandy did for us.
Several years ago, I was reading a book about living childless, which was basically about counting your blessings instead of feeling sorry for yourself. One part has especially stuck with me. It said that childless people make great aunts and uncles, that every child deserves a childless aunt or uncle, and that almost everyone can recall a very important childless person in their lives, whether related or not. I realized that I wanted to be that person who listens intently when children are talking about what is important to them. I want to compliment them on their strengths and encourage their talents. I want to use this time when I don't have my own children to make memories with my nieces and nephews. I want to take them on adventures, even if the adventure is Chick-Fil-A, because Kate and Liv seemed pretty excited our Girls Only dinner there last week. I want to give them some unique gift that is the unlikely item that gets cherished for decades, like Alf.
Anyone who sees me post photos or quotes about my nieces and nephews, and tells me that I'm a good aunt... you should know that I learned it all from Aunt Sandy. Even now, as grown adults, when it's Christmas afternoon and there's that lull in the festivities, Patrick and Eileen and I will turn to each other and say, "Shouldn't Aunt Sandy be taking us to the movies?"
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